Day 3 – 14 miles

We got a ride back to where we left off at the trail. The real start of the wall coming from the west seems to be near Banks East Turret 52A. Historically speaking, the wall was built during Hadrian’s reign to “keep out the barbarians” and to emphasize the might of the Roman Empire, though apparently there wasn’t much need for it’s defensive purposes. Current day, the wall is worn down to its base and never seems taller than 4ft or so. At every roman mile (about 1.48 km or 0.92 of a regular mile) was a “castle” that marked a gateway. Since we were walking the path backwards to its intended direction, the castle and turret numbers would go down instead of up. At some of the castle sites you were fêted with a square shaped foundation of stones next to the wall.

We reached the Birdoswold Fort near mid-morning, where we treated ourselves to fresh beverages at the cafe. This was a historical site you had to pay to get into, so we just sat outside in the courtyard enjoying the nice tables and chairs, a real treat on any walk. After getting our stamps, it was back to the wall.

Everything seemed so lush and green, which I’m guess has something to do with all the sheep poop everywhere. We walked along the wall through rolling hills of verdant grasses with pops of purple Harebells dotted throughout. Occasional informational signs expanded on the history of the wall and the area. And I would promptly forget what I read, it was pretty dry reading. Except for the one sign that told us about a bit of ancient graffiti from a centurion named Candidius.

Lunch was another packed bag from our previous stay. I’ve learned to ask for no butter and to just put the mustard on myself. Today’s fare also included a banana. We found a shady spot near a grove of beech trees. A group of British hikers were already set up and we politely conversed until they moved on. I’ve noticed that the British I’ve encountered so far are polite but reserved. They’re not unfriendly, just not so eager to discuss their whole life story at the first meeting. It’s actually quite refreshing coming from the excitable golden retriever energy of American hiking.

After lunch, it was back into the wind and melting sun with the start of some real climbing. It wasn’t tall, just steep like the Appalachians and in the same manner, the trail makers never heard of a switchback. Once we got past the Walltown Quarry it was a thrill ride over hill and over dale. There was a turret square named for King Arthur that was full of the devil’s weed and one of my many nemeses on this trip: stinging nettle. Even though the constant up and down was frustrating, the sweeping vistas, bright sunshine, and brisk wind made it bearable. Our afternoon snack break was sat upon the top of some grassy bit of hillside with 360 views.

Near the end of our planned day was the highest point marker sitting at a whopping 1130 ft. By the time we got there though, I was beat and didn’t want to stop for long. I just wanted to hoof it to our next pick up spot. We were due to be picked up again and behind schedule. That’s the one thing I don’t like: being put on such a tight schedule. I like having a margin of freedom to meander and go as slow as I want. We missed our taxi and Tanya had to do some calling around since she was the one with a working cell service, with my phone being on permanent Airplane mode. Eventually, we made it to the Manor House Hotel in Haltwistle, where I even got my own room and bathroom. It was practically an apartment.

Day 4 – 12.5 miles

When we got back to trail this morning, it was cold and gray – a little more along the lines of what I thought September in England would look like. Me and Tanya talked about how rough the first 3 days have been, with long miles and tight schedules, and how our feet hurt. Today was going to be shorter and our next accommodations were on trail! So it was an easy going one where we’d take as long as we damn well please! Also it was Robin Hood tree day!

The misty gray was so refreshing to walk in but made the stones underfoot treacherous with the rollercoaster of rolling hills. Soon enough sun was bursting through the clouds and dried up most of the mist. By the time we reached Sycamore Gap the bright sun was out in full force. This particular gap is home to the famous “Robin Hood tree”, as it was featured in the Kevin Costner film “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.” (Or rather the movie should be more famous for Alan Rickman’s iconic portrayal of the Sheriff of Nottingham, in which he chewed so much scenery, I’m surprised there was anything left to show. I just love how absolutely bat shit crazy he is and as the kids say these days: he leaves no crumbs behind. Anyway back to the tree.)

In the movie, Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman are walking along a wall when they get back to England, and stop near a tree where there is a medieval scuffle involving a kid and the sheriff’s cousin. This is the famed Sycamore Gap. In real life, the lone Sycamore sits in the dip between two sharp hills that the wall zips up and down. Viewing from the south, the background is just bright open sky. It’s the only thing within view and the framing makes the perfect picture. Everything is established for a beautiful shot! (I can’t believe some idiots chopped this tree down only two weeks after I was there.)

This is a popular part of the trail and on this day, it is full of hikers. Me and Tanya got to visit the tree and take pictures for literally two minutes before a hordes of day hikers showed up. We boot scooted along the wall to an out cropping with a view of Crag Lough where we sat and had second breakfast. Down below we watched two swans float peacefully on the water while behind us a steady line of path traffic increased. We passed by another roman fort attraction – Housesteads – whose main attraction to me was their bathrooms. We got another stamp.

With all the people on trail today, we had to go off trail a bit to find a nice shady spot for lunch. We found a downed tree among some damp grasses. As we ate Tanya was able to identify some of the bird song around us. There was a very polite sounding woodpecker who seemed much quieter than their raucous American cousins.

After a nice shady jaunt in some old oaks, it was back out into the exposed ridgeline. The heat was ramping up and felt a hot spot on the back of my right knee from the southern sun. I could feel my skin starting to cook. Of all the things I was prepared for, blazing sun and heat was not something I considered for British weather conditions. We slogged through four miles of cow and sheep fields, dodging the patties and getting sporadic views of the wall. We met a nice couple while searching for a break spot in some shade and the lady had some sunscreen that I borrowed for my cooked knee. (You may or may not be surprised that the shops we’ve passed along the way do not sell sunscreen.) My buff was enlisted for further sun protection on my knee.

And then it was a zombie walk in the sun and heat near a road. Tanya was ahead and did that wavery desert thing they do in movies. This trail went through dried out farm fields and of course: sheep. Let us never forget all the poop. I put on a podcast and tried not to pay attention to the sizzle in my knee. Once we reached the road into Chollerford it was all downhill in the shade, and we reached our destination the George Hotel which sat on the banks of River North Tyne.

Getting to our rooms was an another trek through a labyrinth of hallways and stairs. We finally found our room which felt like a sauna. And why would that be? Because there was no A/C, which understandable, it’s northern England. But why not put a screen on the window? Along with the heat were corners full of weird English bugs. I went to take a shower first and found the back of my knee was Kentucky Fried crispy. How absurd is that the first time I get burned in 20+ years is in England?! I didn’t even get burned in the California desert on the PCT!

Dinner was a microwaved spaghetti dish from the hotel’s restaurant that they didn’t heat up all the way. The middle was literally still frozen. The waitress took it back and returned with a nuclear meltdown plate of noodles that still hadn’t cooled down by the time Tanya was done. Looking at the river was nice though. It was that tannin rich dark brown water that looks like Guinness. We watched as the sun set and then returned to our steamy bug filled room.

Day 5 – 9 miles

The George’s breakfast buffet was disappointing but somewhat filling. What wasn’t disappointing was the weather! It was chilly and gray again, which my much abused skin appreciated. We walked along a road way with speedy cars and eventually veered off into some fields. The humidity set in and again I was left wondering where the hell I was. After a climb up where we got a nice view of the valley below, it was back into the forest.

I’m not sure how, but I rolled my ankle pretty hard. The scenery somehow knew this and turned all sweet to accommodate my bad mood. I hobbled through a misty grove of heather and sloe berry that let out onto open fields with large haystacks. The gray fogginess made them seem like spooky hay dolmans – all tall and imposing – just waiting to inflict some sort of cosmic chaos.

A spitting rain picked up as we reached the Errington Arms, a cute little roadside cafe in the middle of nowhere. We stopped to have coffee and lunch. I had a chicken pot pie with what looked like a deconstructed salad. Little piles of iceberg, coleslaw, tomatoes (the English love their toms), cucumbers, and beets took up most of the plate. Then we had Victoria sponge cake, on which they poured what looked like heavy cream. And you know what? I wasn’t mad at it. I may have gone a little feral about it in fact.

After lunch, the rain died out and we continued on through the shit-filled fields next to the road. A short four miles later we made it to the Robin Hood Inn that was directly on trail. We stayed in one of their cabins out back. Once the the doors and windows were opened, it reminded me of a very fancy Appalachian Trail shelter….with running water…and beds. Once we figured out how the hot water worked, we took showers and chilled out for the afternoon.